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ASYNCHRONY, INTEGRATIVE THINKING & THE NEED FOR A "THIRD ALTERNATIVE"

7/31/2022

Conjecture

Neuro-Diverse people often have ASYNCHRONOUS DEVELOPMENT
- they often have BIG STRENGTHS and
- BIG CHALLENGES

Our SYSTEMS are not really set up to deal with the VARIETY and INDIVIDUALITY that's out there.

CATEGORIES help us DEAL WITH the COMPLEXITY of VARIETY & INDIVIDUALITY --
- The BIG PROBLEM we have now in MENTAL HEALTH is that the CATEGORIES in the DSM are NOT ACCURATE.
- "CATEGORIES" are a kind of PARADIGM.
- AND if they are "WRONG" it matters a lot.
- History of SCIENCE and INTELLECTUAL HISTORY are PUNCTUATED by "PARADIGM SHIFTS."

Thomas Kuhn

So this is a Blog about "RELATIONSHIPS" --- why am I talking about big SOCIETAL PARADIGMS?

Because as INDIVIDUALS or for that matter as PROFESSIONALS we're bringing those SOCIETAL PARADIGMS to the TABLE ----- CONSCIOUSLY, SEMI-CONSCIOUSLY and UNCONSCIOUSLY.

If my "PARADIGMS" don't include "ASYNCHRONOUS DEVELOPMENT" --- I may be in for a RUDE AWAKENING on multiple fronts --- including:

my Spouse
my Kids, and
myself

Further, there may be SIMILARITIES --- But that "ASYNCHRONOUS DEVELOPMENT" can play out very differently even in the SAME FAMILY.

Further, IDENTIFYING with a group or groups --- FEELS SAFE BUT it can actually prevent us from coming to terms with our own INDIVIDUALITY and that of others.

Steven Morgan: Soteria Vermont Project Manager

Addresses the Knowledge Challenges that are plaguing Mental Health.

Deborah Tannen: Professor of Linguistics at Georgetown University, Author & Communication Expert

Deborah Tannen

Helen Keller

Thomas Kuhn: The Structure of Scientific Revolutions (1962)

Mom & School Psychologist Cait Curley

Asynchronous Development and The Gifted Child

I truly believe that if more people understood the concept of asynchronous development, and began to think of giftedness as asynchrony, many of the gifted myths would be dispelled.

Gifted students would no longer be equated with high achievers.

People would realize that gifted children do not have it easy and that they are not easy to raise.

The term twice-exceptional would make sense to more people.

People would begin to understand that these asynchronous children have unique and special needs.

Rather than being viewed as elitist, gifted support would be seen as a necessary part of a child’s development.

Intellectually, they need to be with peers with whom they can relate.

Roger Martin --- Professor Emeritus of University of Toronto School of Management --- popularizer of "INTEGRATIVE THINKING" --- See Thinking About Thinking

I'd like to see ---

"INTEGRATIVE THINKING" used to Solve "Wicked Problems" like Relationships & Societal Integration for Neuro-Diverse ASYNCHRONOUS People

Stephen Covey

Stephen Covey --- Author of the hugely successful 7 Habits of Highly Effective People --- that was marketed as BUSINESS MANAGEMENT -- and was a lot about FAMILIES.

"A third alternative moves beyond your way or my way to a higher and better way—one that allows both parties to emerge from debate or even heated conflict in a far better place than either had envisioned. "

----The 3rd Alternative: Solving Life's Most Difficult Problems

You Don't Know, What You Don't Know --- But You Can Keep Learning

7/20/2022

Conjecture

Let's just say I don't think it is necessarily easy to deal with NEURO-DIVERSITY as a parent --- BUT it can be a lot easier than as a SPOUSE or even as an INDIVIDUAL.
- Ironically, we often do make BETTER DECISIONS for others than we do for ourselves.
- Further, if a kid or a spouse feels REJECTED --- they are NOT going to be very open to any SUGGESTIONS.
- Even further, if I feel REJECTED --- I'm not going to be very open to SUGGESTIONS.
- Finally, if the person who is making the SUGGESTIONS doesn't really understand THE LIMITATION or CHALLENGE---
  - The SUGGESTIONS are probably NOT going to be very good.

When I say NEURO-DIVERSITY I'm referring to ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, Giftedness, OCD, etc.

So generally, these issues are NOT implicating the BIG --- Danger to Self or Others Concerns.
- Although, some people with serious impulsiveness issues can implicate these concerns.

University of Texas School of Business
Group Think

What NEURO-DIVERSITY is really implicating are our GROUP THINK IDEAS about what is REASONABLE when it comes to:
- Short Term Memory
- Organization
- Emotional Regulation
- For some people READING
- Fatigue
- Etc.

I think we need to adopt DEMING'S approach to "MANAGEMENT"--
- DRIVE OUT FEAR, and
- GO FOR CONTINUOUS IMPROVEMENT

If there is a real SAFETY CONCERN --- by all means address it.

BUT I think in many cases, the issues are EXACERBATED because we don't think any "REASONABLE PERSON" could have the EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING ISSUES that MILLIONS of smart people with NEURO-DEVELOPMENTAL DIFFERENCES in fact have.

Executive Functioning Differences----You can't work on a SUPPORT PLAN & Work Arounds if you're too busy fighting REALITY

7/3/2022

I don't think you can ignore executive functioning differences ---

But trying to FIX the person's DEVELOPMENTAL DIFFERENCES given current knowledge is not gonna work.
- Further, in a lot of Neuro-Diverse Relationships in which both partners may have some aspects of Neuro-Diversity
  - Those unrealistic judgments may be going in BOTH DIRECTIONS.

Most Neuro-Diverse Families are going to have complicated Executive Functioning needs of individuals within the family that need to be accommodated or worked around.

The more UNDERSTANDING & SUPPORT there is from the SOCIETY --- the EASIER it will be for everyone.

As hard as it is --- you often have to FACTOR IN --- SLOW PROCESSING.

I think for a lot of us --- we were often considered "SMART" and "HARD-WORKING" --- and we had a really hard time identifying that we couldn't do things in the same way as NEURO-TYPICALS and avoid a BURNOUT or BREAKDOWN.

The fact is we have a lot of Neuro-Diverse people in this Society and they're BURNING OUT and BREAKING DOWN ----

It's going to take INDIVIDUALIZED & COORDINATED EFFORTS on the part of Individuals BUT
I think it also takes INDIVIDUALIZED MEDICINE
AND More Understanding & Experience with working with these differences not just in a VACUUM but in FAMILIES, COMMUNITIES, WORK ENVIRONMENTS, etc.

The EFFORT on the part of Neuro-Diverse people TO MAKE ACCOMMODATIONS & WORK AROUNDS is often SQUARED or MORE.

The likelihood that you may be in a relationship or have kids with IDIOSYNCRATIC DIFFERENCES is probably pretty high.
The likelihood that you may work for "Neuro-Typicals" who have no understanding of your needs is also probably pretty high.
Maybe even more likely that you're working for a Neuro-Diverse ENTREPRENEUR who really needs you to be a "Neuro-Typical."

So there are the TWO BIG AREAS: Work & Love

It is all connected.

BUT it is NOT just Work & Love --- this also includes the Community and the need for Neuro-Diverse people to CONTRIBUTE to the Community and be part of the Community ----

blackgirllostkeys.com

ASYNCHRONY, INTEGRATIVE THINKING & THE NEED FOR A "THIRD ALTERNATIVE"

You Don't Know, What You Don't Know --- But You Can Keep Learning

Executive Functioning Differences----You can't work on a SUPPORT PLAN & Work Arounds if you're too busy fighting REALITY

Translational Love, Relationships & Neuro-Diversity Saturday

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​blackgirllostkeys.com

ASYNCHRONY, INTEGRATIVE THINKING & THE NEED FOR A "THIRD ALTERNATIVE"

You Don't Know, What You Don't Know --- But You Can Keep Learning

Executive Functioning Differences----You can't work on a SUPPORT PLAN & Work Arounds if you're too busy fighting REALITY

Translational Love, Relationships & Neuro-Diversity Saturday

Archives

Categories

blackgirllostkeys.com