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Time, Empathy, Relationships & Economics

6/26/2022

Thinking is hard and if you are trying to understand someone who thinks even a little bit differently than you do --- that's "EFFORT."

Some people now and likely more in the future are going to have more information and understanding to NEGOTIATE NEURO-DIVERSITY upfront rather than FAR DOWN THE ROAD in their RELATIONSHIPS.

Neurodiversity is something that to the extent possible needs to be SPECIFICALLY NEGOTIATED UP FRONT in RELATIONSHIPS, especially ---
- Long Term Relationships and
- Work Relationships

Whether it's a life partner or a business partner -- accurate information and some creativity and care can make the difference ---

BUT going into this in the dark can be a NIGHTMARE and it's not fun for anybody.

We're way ahead of people before us and a lot of that is due to the Youtube efforts of Neurodiverse people.

BUT we've got a long way to go.

There's an enormous need for INFORMATION, UNDERSTANDING and BETTER TREATMENTS.

I think we need to really address what it is going to take for some people to manage that RAMPED UP STRESS RESPONSE.
- I think it's a lot more than we've traditionally thought.

We need to invest the Time and Money for BETTER UNDERSTANDINGS and TREATMENTS.

Louise Taylor is a Neurodiverse Therapist and she herself has an AUTISM DIAGNOSIS and she certainly comes across as one of the MOST EMPATHETIC PEOPLE one is likely to ever meet.

EMPATHY IS EFFORT.

TIME IS MONEY

If you're a "SLOW PROCESSOR"
- maybe because you're processing more information
And you're Neuro-Diverse
Your spouse is Neuro-Diverse
and your kids are Neuro-Diverse
SOMEBODY(S) needs to EXERCISE A LOT of EMPATHY --- to FIGURE THAT OUT in 2022.
That is a TIME COST.

It is a profoundly PERSONAL and also ECONOMIC ISSUE to raise our understanding of Neuro-Developmental Differences for:

Individuals
Couples
Families
Workers and
Entrepreneurs

EMPATHY is EFFORT ---

But in the LONG RUN -- it is worth it.

Neuro-DIVERSE Relationships: A SOMETIMES TWO-WAY STREET in need of accurate maps

6/21/2022

I think there are relationships in which one person may be more "Neuro-Typical" than the other.
I also think there are A LOT of RELATIONSHIPS in which BOTH partners have significant aspects of NEURO-DIVERSITY.
Further, the MORE BLURRED that is --- without BIOMARKERS ---
- the MORE DIFFICULT it is to figure out the DYNAMICS and the NEEDS of BOTH people
- Especially, if you BOTH are FEELING and SAYING --- "THAT'S NOT REASONABLE."
  - You can BOTH spend a lot of time trying to prove to the other person that they aren't REASONABLE---
  - While RELATIONSHIP ACCOMMODATIONS and WORK AROUNDS that could make BOTH of your lives better are MISSED.

Now anybody can UNILATERALLY TERMINATE a Relationship and there are certainly REASONS for doing that ---
- BUT I think for many Neuro-Diverse Couples -- the relationship could benefit with more KNOWLEDGE and INSIGHT.
- Going most of your life without that KNOWLEDGE or INSIGHT is HARD and it likely will be HARD on your RELATIONSHIPS.
- NOT having an ACCURATE MAP and the SOCIETY NOT having an ACCURATE MAP of your experience is STRESS PRODUCING.
  - This is RELATIVE.
  - There is NO PERFECT MAP out there, but the MORE INACCURATE THE MAP, the MORE STRESS --- Val's Law of SOCIAL MAPS & STRESS.

Further, most Neuro-Diverse People ALREADY HAVE A RAMPED UP STRESS RESPONSE
- It's NOT all bad --
- BUT it is NOT all good either ---

Old World Map

I think Neuro-Diverse People can look pretty PATHOLOGICAL when they are trying to manage that SENSORY / INFORMATION Overload.

Because the RESPONSE --- whether it is Fight, Flight or Freeze --- doesn't seem PROPORTIONAL from a Neuro-Typical Perspective (even if neither one of you are quite Neuro-Typical)
I think this also relates to "REJECTION SENSITIVE DYSPHORIA" and Emotions that tend to be TYPICAL in every way EXCEPT INTENSITY.

HUMOR -- COMIC RELIEF can help relieve the TENSION built up by relentless emotions that are TYPICAL in every way EXCEPT INTENSITY.
- BUT that too is fraught with peril.

I've been on both the giving and receiving end of UNAPPRECIATED HUMOR --- and it's not fun for anybody.

BUT I think as individuals and couples we are going to need to find some MUTUALLY ACCEPTABLE ways to break the tension of RELENTLESS INTENSE EMOTIONS or it will take a HEAVY TOLL.

POSSIBLE RESOURCE:

Neurodiverse Couples Therapy in Lone Tree

Hyperfocus, Emotional Intensity & Ramped Up STress Responses in Neuro-Diversity require AWARENESS

6/19/2022

Conjecture

Adults and Kids with ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, and/or Gifted tend to have more INTENSE EMOTIONS ---
- maybe in part as the result of HYPER-CONNECTED BRAINS

On the one hand NEURO-DIVERSE people are often known for their ability to HYPER-FOCUS.

On the other hand, they have to spend more TIME and ENERGY processing INTENSE EMOTIONS.

Most people and certainly most NEURO-DIVERSE people find at some point in their lives that MANAGING STRESS requires a re-ordering of priorities:
- that could be a re-ordering for a child
- for an adult
- a couple, and/or
- a family

This is going to make RELATIONSHIPS ----
- MORE WORK.
- AWARENESS on the part of individuals and the society has the POTENTIAL to:
  - reduce STRESS and
  - improve relationships.

ADHD BOSS: Hyperfocus – How to Gain an Unfair Advantage with ADHD (2017)

VICE: People with ADHD can actually FOCUS so Hard it's Scary (2017)

Is it EMOTIONAL INTENSITY, EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATION or BOTH?

The name or label we use tends to depend on whether we're referring to "GIFTEDNESS" or "ADHD" or "AUTISM," etc. ---

But they all come under the category of "Neurodiversity"

Neuro-Diversity and a Ramped Up Stress Response

blackgirllostkeys.com

Time, Empathy, Relationships & Economics

Neuro-DIVERSE Relationships: A SOMETIMES TWO-WAY STREET in need of accurate maps

Hyperfocus, Emotional Intensity & Ramped Up STress Responses in Neuro-Diversity require AWARENESS

Translational Love, Relationships & Neuro-Diversity Saturday

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Time, Empathy, Relationships & Economics

Neuro-DIVERSE Relationships: A SOMETIMES TWO-WAY STREET in need of accurate maps

Hyperfocus, Emotional Intensity & Ramped Up STress Responses in Neuro-Diversity require AWARENESS

Translational Love, Relationships & Neuro-Diversity Saturday

Archives

Categories

blackgirllostkeys.com